Cortisol

This cortisol currency you pillage out of me from depths unseen

Cannot mean as much to you as it means to me

Your hands remain empty as I am depleted

You are the storm-maker but I will not be defeated

I’m recycling my resources

Your hot air will run its course

I will hold steady

So go ahead, shake my tree

I have plenty of cortisol, from depths unseen

Enough for you and for me

Plunge

I want to plunge into you

Get lost and find my way through

If I dive into your deep blue

I don’t want to hurt me or you

Though I know that diving into someone’s heart is not without risk

I wish I knew how to plunge gently

I like having you around, at least for now

But when we’re inside out and upside down

I hope I remember that you were a good friend

That gives me courage to plunge into your eyes, your arms, your mind, your charms

I want to surround myself with you, to take and to give

Please, plunge in

He Said

He said, ‘You have seen things you didn’t want to and done things you didn’t want to.’

He said, ‘You are insecure and untrusting because you don’t trust yourself.’

He said, ‘Forget the abuse you suffered as a child.’

He said, ‘You couldn’t be a librarian, but you could be a writer, you have a writer’s soul.’

He said, ‘You can’t change the lines on your hands, but when I cover them up, you can’t see them.’

He said, ‘You talk in your sleep and are afraid of what you say.’

He said, ‘You are the daughter of a goddess, and you shouldn’t cut your hair.’

He said, ‘You live in total service to others, but no one appreciates you.’

He said, ‘You are sensitive all over your body.’

He said, ‘Go forward in confidence, with firm steps, express yourself, go out more, form important relationships with the people you meet.’

Battle of Giants

There is no room for me here

With your giant egos clashing and smashing through my wall

Destroying my peace and crushing me

How can you receive, how can you listen, when you are so loud and proud?

Tooting your own horns with trumpeting fanfare

Whatever you are saying, nobody will care how much you know until they know how much you care

Small

If I were very small, I’d explore the mountain range of your back

Trickles of sweat would threaten to wash me away

I’d cling to you and map out your landscape

In awe of your complexity, I’d marvel at the privilege of breathing your air

I’d lose myself in the vastness of your intricate beauty

If I were any smaller…yet I am expanding, quickly losing the possibility of ever returning to the box from which I sprang

You are not so giant after all

You started shrinking once I stopped thinking that you are flawless

Nap Breeze

Candy glass, butterfly smash

Falling pieces fall together again

Riding on a dandelion seed, floating on the wind

Intergalactically I travel

Dreaming through open eyes

Effortlessly flying through starry skies

Harnessing the strength from which the planets spin

I am the daffodils, the earth and the rain

I feel the world weightless inside my brain

I can almost see what can’t be seen

Formless, colorless behind the screen

Until the breeze pulls this nap from me

These Late Nights

These late nights stir up feelings of my youth, our youth

Of starlight and fallen leaves

Back when we had nothing more to do

Than run around blind, howl into the great unknown, and break our own hearts

These late nights are now so busy and exhausting

Back in our day, staying up late was what we lived for, instead of what drained the life out of us

We had to get creative to avoid stillness, instead of being in desperate need of tranquility amidst freneticism

My favorite moments were when we stopped our clatter and spoke through our hands in sweet silence

Until sunrise burned our eyes and melted us apart

Leaving unuttered words on my lips, I want to tell you still, but I won’t

Old habits

Our late nights together, a roaming pack of wild adolescents

Finding home in each other’s arms and the greatest thrill in the subtlest of movements

I try in vain to drown my memories of you with a new type of late nights

On call, roaming hospital halls

Inviting stress and the traumatic experiences it brings

Has anything changed?

No matter how many years I spend in training or how deep I plunge into the ocean of medical knowledge

You buoyantly float to my surface, shining brighter than life itself

Years of intensive study have not revealed the antidote for you

Countless classroom hours, yet no professor has lectured on relief from this affliction for which no doctor can write a prescription

I still want to see you by starlight and fallen leaves one of these late nights

Now my eyes flutter open to fluorescent lights

Surrounded by my patients, I wait with endless patience

Knowing that you and I will never share a late night again

Like my patients, all I can do is hope for relief or resolution

Ever searching for the solution

Many nights have passed since last we met

I rely on the stars and fallen leaves to whisper my love to you

Exquisitely exhausted, I try to let you go like the monk you told me about years ago who left the woman he carried across the river on the other side of the river

And yet, these late nights stir up memories of starlight and fallen leaves

I used to think you were the answer to all of my doubts

Now I know that what I need comes from within, not without

Prayer for Protection

Starry sky with your twinkling eyes

Please watch over my dear ones tonight

Wrap them in your velvet blanket

Keep the safe in a world with many roads to explore

Provider them with shelter, a room with a door

Give them both rice and beans

Tuck them in and bless them with sweet dreams

Until the sun comes up again

May they live in comfort and meet new friends