I wrestle with the dark depths
Tears flowing, thoughts running
I explore the idea of ending life in this body
To communicate what my mouth doesn’t say
To let my family know how much they hurt me
To give myself long-needed relief
Still I hang on just a little longer
And am rewarded with beauty beyond words
The first signs of Spring, delivering a baby
The light from these moments pierces through my depression
I am reminded of the sacredness in all
I can destroy myself as a result of trauma, or be a source of healing for my family
Breaking the inter-generational chain of abuse is a privilege
I radiate golden light to past and future generations, links in a chain
I cannot see the beginning or the end; I see the light, born from the alchemy of hurt and healing
My body is a crucible, a vessel for transformation
I am a force for healing
Yet I do not force my healing
The source of my healing is always present
Drink if you are thirsty
