My body is a dustbin
Collecting what is forgotten and broken
The overlooked and the rejected
Are welcome within my walls
My body is a minefield
Ready to go off
Touch me anywhere
You’ll trigger trauma everywhere
My body is a row of dominoes
I line myself up
Only to watch myself fall down under the slightest stress
Finding myself again in the middle of a mess
I want to ask my heroin addict sister
If our mother did to her what our mother did to me at night
If my sister experienced similar humiliation and violation
If she felt God-forsaken hour after hour awakened
Torn between nightmares and the horror of real life
I wish I had drugs, prescription or illicit, to help me survive this pain that is always by my side, a balm for this immortal mortal wound
Ever the warrior, I muscle through on my own
Only when I am alone do I feel almost safe
I cry and say the words I didn’t say
Feel the loss of the one who got away
My body is an international currency used to bargain, barter and beg
My body speaks a universal language, from my hair to my legs
I have forged deals in the most unlikely of places
I always felt underpaid
Time after time I find the perfect storm, my shelter so that I can disempower myself, disown my sadness, illustrate it through external circumstances
I thank my pain- my loving protector
I thank my body- my stage and specter
