Enough

‘My problem is that I just…exist’
She said to me, her eyes welling up tearfully

I asked, ‘is your existence a problem because you feel like you are barely surviving when you want to be thriving?’

‘Yes’ she replied

I looked deep into her sad eyes, and she into mine
I felt how she had hungered her whole life to be treated kindly
She lay emaciated in the bed before me
Her body was weak but I know her spirit is strong
                                                Because she has survived so much for so long

I saw much of myself in her: lifelong PTSD, trapped in psychologically abusive relationships, barely clinging to life, desperate for escape through self-sabotaging behaviors, walking the razor’s edge between depression and anxiety

The only difference between us is that I am her doctor and she is my patient. We have more in common than she knows. I thanked her for the gift of her presence in my life, for her perseverance and humor.

In that moment of soul-to-soul resuscitation, we felt complete and whole
That moment was enough

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