Choose Love

Choose Love

Sometimes I have revelations,
Subtle shifts in my consciousness,
Life-changing realizations like:

My childhood was fucked up
I will never completely recover from it
But at least I’m trying
That is to say, I cannot escape the after-effects
Which have shaped every cell in my body
But I can still dedicate my life to healing

Another thought: my relationships have been fucked up
Living in constant fear of my partners was hellish,
Although I accepted it at the time because it was what I thought love was, but I was misinformed

The biggest shift so far
Is solving the puzzle of my life
Putting the pieces together to see the big picture
I failed to see the characteristics of my parents in my partners but I later saw the behavioral patterns of my partners in my parents
This made me feel at once horrified and liberated by the realization that
I felt attracted to abusive partners because I had abusive parents, thus:

Fear and love were too tightly intertwined for me to realize, until now, that they are two distinct entities
I am using all my might to separate them in my mind
And choose love

Invite love into my life
Let fear move on
I want to pour love out into the world
Instead of cower in fear of everyone all the time

You may move on, fear, there is no more for you to do around here, thank you very much
I choose the abundance that has always been within reach
I choose love

 

 

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