Rhyming Truth

 

I’ve been working through some inner stuff lately
Trying to knock down the foundation
That overshadows my life greatly

What a rocky road
I never know when the floodgates of tears will open
But they do
And I nearly drown in the saltwater
Until I wash up on the shore
Sputtering and struggling to get my bearings
I blink my stinging eyes and see…

Ye Olde Ancient Grains of Trauma
Which perpetuate their seed
This heavy necklace can’t hold even one more bead

I want to get off this Merry-Go-Rama
And stand on my own two feet
Instead of piling this old sandwich higher
To heights far more than I’d care to eat

You are skilled in the healing arts
Spreading laughter and medicinal farts
However more than anything,
I crave sacred solo time
To sit with myself
Cry and write
Recover and realize
How to live my most authentic life

I admire you for so many reasons
To lead you on surely would be treason
I pray and hope you can understand
Why I want to rip out weeds
And plant nourishing seeds in my land

What I’m trying to say
As gently as can be
Is that I need my time
Just for me

I was already on this road before we met
I started to slip off the Single Wagon with you
Now I’m climbing back on again

When it comes to healthy relationships, I’m not ready yet
Your presence cast an amnesic spell on my Singleton Mission
With all that good energy you generously be dishin’
But I digress, anytime I undress…

A bird needs rest
Before a long flight
And I could stand to practice
Being comfortably alone at night

I’ve come to realize
That I use men like a drug
To feed my stress addiction
Keep someone nearby to please around the clock
Until, inevitably, I let them down
Which hurts them, makes them cry and frown
To men, I feel like a drug as well
Because for a time I make them feel good, downright swell

It is of course, much more complicated than that
So I’m striving to simplify my life
Be more like a cat
Eat, sleep, play and purr
Watch the birds
And clean my fur
Most of all, clean up from my stress addiction
It is a living hell of an affliction

I am confident that someway, someday
I will meet fellow travelers on the road
And be brave enough to speak my truth
Come what may

You are the one of the first
To read such heartfelt prose
I hope it is well-received
It feels strange to stray away from
Aiming only to please
If I were speaking, my voice would shake
If I were writing, the pen would quake

But I think you’re the type of person
Who would want to hear my truth
Could handle it, and hold space for it
And understand my need to quit
My people-pleasing which
Doesn’t please anyone in the long-run
So please be free, stay healthy and have fun

And I’m sorry, darling, for any suffering I have incurred,
If I’ve set off any inner alarm
Even though pain is part of life
I strive to do no harm

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